This poem was included in the original 1915 edition.
IF the learned Supreme Court of Illinois Got at the secret of every case As well as it does a case of rape It would be the greatest court in the world. A jury, of neighbors mostly, with "Butch" Weldy As foreman, found me guilty in ten minutes And two ballots on a case like this: Richard Bandle and I had trouble over a fence And my wife and Mrs. Bandle quarreled As to whether Ipava was a finer town than Table Grove. I awoke one morning with the love of God Brimming over my heart, so I went to see Richard To settle the fence in the spirit of Jesus Christ. I knocked on the door, and his wife opened; She smiled and asked me in. I entered-- She slammed the door and began to scream, "Take your hands off, you low down varlet!" Just then her husband entered. I waved my hands, choked up with words. He went for his gun, and I ran out. But neither the Supreme Court nor my wife Believed a word she said.
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